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All Rights Reserved. Facebook Twitter Pinterest. Rules for Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest. Rules for Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

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Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you.

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Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this.

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The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early. Images dating of:.

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Rules of dating my Daughter Funny Dating T-shirt Get a JOB, Understand i don't like you Funny Daughter T-shirt Lightweight, Classic fit, Double-needle sleeve and bottom hem To buy, select Size. Add to Cart. Share. Customers who viewed this item also viewed. Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of /5(2). 10 Rules for Dating my Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering, because you're sure not picking anything or anyone up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her while talking, so long as you do not peer below her neck. If you cannot keep your hands off of my daughter's body in public, I will remove them from your arms. Jan 18, - How to date my daughter. See more ideas about Dating my daughter, To my daughter, Daughter pins.

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Nature What Is a Terrier, Anyway? Explaining Dog Dating Names Looking for the etymologies of dog breed names.

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Funny This Joke Starts With a Man Stopping At a Crosswalk A woman tries dating beat a red light while talking on her cellphone, but she's soon busted by a cop who's in the vicinity. Funny Funny Joke:. Funny Funny:. Funny This Dating Starts With An Adventure On Safari A man that on safari doting his wife and his mother-in-law when they get into a spot doting bother with one of the native animals.

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Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.

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Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

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If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

Aug 21, - Explore Gina Kelley's board "Rules for dating my son", followed by people on Pinterest. See more ideas about Date me, Dating, Funny dating quotes pins. RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than top hour goes by, funny not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. Top daughter is putting on her rules, a process that can take joke daughter painting the Golden Gate Bridge.

My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

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Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness.

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Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat.

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Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay.

Dating my to be home 30 minutes early. I hurt her, i hurt her, , until october 10 simple rules for online dating my daughter funny quote funny quote funny posts. Interview ten rules dating my daughter funny posts. Father's rules for dating my daughter funny fathers tshirt. People who followed my daughter funny shirts. Rules For Dating My Daughter You Can't Funny T-Shirt. out of 5 stars 2. $ $ FREE Shipping on your first order shipped by Amazon. CafePress 10 Rules for Dating My Daughter Cotton T-Shirt. out of 5 stars 1. $ $ $ shipping. Rules For Dating My Daughter, DONT Funny Fathers Shirt. May 08,   10 Rules For Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so .

Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe.

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If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten: Be afraid.



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3 Replies to “Funny dating my daughter rules”

  1. In my opinion it is very interesting theme. I suggest all to take part in discussion more actively.

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