We have known one another for about ten years dating on and off, taking a four year break at one point. We are compatible on many levels, but there is one thing that continues to turn me off from ten years ago to now and that is his lack of ambition to be successful professionally. I find the sexiest thing about a man is his intelligence, and no matter if a person is well read or not, a great deal of intelligence comes from professional life experience. I should be happy to have a man who loves me and I can trust. I think everyone here can feel your pain. In such circumstances, there are no decisions to be made.
You want to give people the moon, not for condos, but for the best walk of their lives. The best ambition in the world is to somehow want to present the world to others in better shape than most find it.
Do you see now that your ambitions are about as awesome as awesome can get?
Ennui is temporary; passion, that deep, soul passion, is not. Some part of you wants to bring about that shared awesomeness. How do we do this? Goals are attainable. The noise is hypnotic; it mires you to stopping points and unfocuses your eyes. The noise is an active deterrent; hardship, disappointment, and failure, however, are not. There is no way to escape hardship, disappointment, and failure. No running from them.
Why Do Ambitious Women Only Want Ambitious Men?
Not for anyone. And after you get up, do you keep going or do you shuffle off to the side so that other runners can get by?
What looks like no ambition, goals, or dreams to the outside world is a battle to assert and hold on to your place in it. So don't give up. Please don't give up. Ambition. Ambition has to come from inside you. It's not poured into you, it's not taught by a wise elder. It's . Aug 11, No, because I find intelligence more attractive than anything else. Chemistry is absolutely necessary, but I need to have both. Besides if I was dating someone I thought was less intelligent than me and lacking in ambition, my feelings would come out soon or later. Jan 17, And if you put a lot into yours, but your partner puts little into his or doesn't even have goals your relationship may hit a dead end. Here is the trouble with dating someone less ambitious.
We all have a few. A lot. Guess what? I suspect neither have you. Or maybe you want to think about who you are, where you want to be, and how to get there.
Despite popular culture representing a man with no professional ambition as a loser, dating him is hardly the same as an unemployed person. One of the consequences of living in a keenly materialistic and consumerist society is that anybody who is not slaving away for the next promotion or commission is seen as lacking drive and purpose in life. Jun 14, I too have no real ambition; money isn't a big concern to me; the idea of working up the corporate ladder to make more and more money really doesn't appeal to me; I enjoy doing what I enjoy doing, and I believe life is short, and I'd hate to spend a large chunk of it in pursuit of money. That just seems meaningless to me. Sep 13, To provide a converse point of view, having two super ambitious people in a relationship can have its downsides too. Serious relationships almost always require at least one member to make career sacrifices. If both people are serious about their.
Dating someone who has no ambition
What's the deal? She seemed to have felt that when he quit his career in baseball, that she was his rebound. Maybee possibly it was fate. You might have to sometimes choose love over finding a person exciting because of their job choices.
Friedrich Nietzsche. I have never met anyone who would understand this! Not necessarily gold diggers but want an equal levels of achievement.
Absurd dating someone who has no ambition possible speak
Gold diggers do nothing and want everything. Independent women do everything and want nothing from their men. If a man has no aspirations, where will he be in life, what will he want, what successes will he strive for beyond financial.
Worldy and ambitious men are kind too, they just have less energy and time for you if they spend most of it at work. On the surface he seems super nice, we seem to like some of the same things, etc, but from our conversations it seems that he would like to spend his time doing what he enjoys and not take a job that he would not be happy doing at his age we are both over I think it might fall under the category of having different values and it could be a real deal breaker for me. I am 39, and just broke up with a lovely guy who made me feel loved and happy.
Sadly he was not very ambitious, and did not bring out the best in me. I felt irritated, wanting to change him.
Felt that we talk different language. I decided to break it off after 4 months with a heavy heart. Maybe, I will regret, but took the risk, he does not deserve someone who criticises him all the time. Still a bit sadMartina. I fully understand, sometimes you have to take the risk! If not hoe will you ever know. Martina, I hope you are ok, I have to ask do you regret breaking it off? I am in exactly the same position now with a. Wry good man, with no ambition deciding if I can move forward or not.
It would be good to hear from someone who has been through it. He is such an amazing guy with so much potential, it hurts.
I hope your broken heart heals soon and you find the someone more compatible. Someone who is well educated can very easily be entitled and not very hardworking at all.
A man can be happy having a mundane, day to day job that pays the bills but not necessarily want the stress the goes with high paying employment. All the best. With a 4 yr.
She writes they are compatible on many levels, but obviously not on this one and it would seem as they both get older, this level is becomming more and more important to her. Kinda sad all the way around.
Hey, wait a minuteI thought love conquers all? Guess not. Like Evan said, no guy can fulfill all your needs, and it seems that is what CJ is looking for. And we do have to compromise all the time.
I think she has a pretty good deal going with this guy, but has she told him how she feels? Most guys need a little nudging in that area. Maybe CJ is putting too much emphasis on somehting that may seem important now but may not be in the long run. You would like to be able to hold down a conversation with your partner and if your time together goes on with awkward silences when you are out of bed, you are going to have a hard time in a LTR.
And as Evan is saying compatibility is important. This is precisely a compatibility issue. Of course she should be acceptiing of him as he is but she can introduce him to her perspective and find a common place.
But I can talk to my business coach about my business, I can talk to my best guy friend about philosophy, and I can experience my own creativity and others creativity in other forms. Be aware that neither of you are going to change in this regard.
The question you have ask yourself is if the lack of desired qualities in your BF are enough for you to go find someone else. Can you be happy for the next 40 years living without those qualities in a husband? I think there is a lot of insight to be had from asking why has a woman who describes herself as a go-getter stayed with such a man for 10 years, even going back to him after a 4 year break.
As Evan wrote, their are guys with more ambition and intellectual drives who have the qualities you want and an intelligent woman like you already knows that. I think once you examine these questions you will feel more strongly about staying or going which will help you make a decision.
I would have to throw my lot in with Selena on this one. Although I think Evan makes a great point about women compartmentalizing a little more, you really have to figure out what is non-negotiable for you. Is she going to be comfortable being a mistress or being rejected when she finds a her ideal?
Would her old boyfriend take her back? Would she be alone forever? Would being alone make her happier? Would she just be in the chase her whole life?
Would she just style with someone else that is potentially a worse person than her boyfriend? If she can answer all of that, then she can make a decision. Reading your letter just made me mad. After this length of time, you know exactly who he is and what he has to offer as a human being and yet you are chronically dissatisfied, which he has to know at least intuitively, and which surely must hurt him deeply.
Alone! dating someone who has no ambition above told
You keep yo-yo-ing back and forth, dancing in and out of the relationship, and he takes you back every time. You want HIM to change - be different improve, in your eyes be more like you. We should either love our mates the way they are or move on. If you do stick around will you really be able to love him unconditionally, as Evan urges?
How sad. How downright cruel.
Instead, he prefers to have fun and balance in his life. He seeks to be entertained and enjoy himself in his free time, like most emotionally healthy people. Tell you what: you break things off with him and go out there and find Mr. Not at all! Now that I think of it, you are depriving THREE people of happiness and contentment: yourself, your boyfriend, and the woman who would make him a wonderful, loving wife, the woman who would make him feel like a king and her forever hero!
I have to say I completely agree with you too. Women with their own careers want someone who can keep up with them - let the other women have this guy - he sounds like a loss. This reply is totally accurate. The begging is the worst.
Opinion dating someone who has no ambition final, sorry, all
Even worse when you live together and they cry I have no where to go. So again the woman will man up and move. Keeping up and being dedicated and loving is not mutually exclusive. It had a different content but no one labeled her a loss. They should iron it out openly and move on.
I LOVE this! Wish I could have my ex read this cuz this is exactly what he did to me. Awesome respobse. I say this because i have been the woman on the other end of this.
Think, that dating someone who has no ambition was
What you said is right on! Boils down to Love Him or Leave Him. Everything is WE, there is no him or me. I want him to feel successful as an individual, not about money buy about having pride in something.
That other rude person forget their name has been hurt by this and I hope they can find a way to not be so angry. Did you ever think to take his mental health into consideration? He could be depressed. Excelent response, i m in the same situation, i m the boyfriend and my Girlfriend has two Master Degree, While I only have a Bachellors, and i m in the same job for 8 years Very well Paid, Better than hers but she has much brighter future.
WE are vocal about what we want in life, and she wants me to have more ambition.
Apr 23, Her boyfriend doesn't have enough ambition, no matter now you define that word, to make a go of a life together. We know things in our gut-he won't make the grade at any level. And yes, a relationship is all about seeing what has to be done, and then compromising and doing it because we see what the other does and learn from it and because. Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you're worried about.
Creates trouble Other than that the realtionship is perfect. She better has a boyfirends who cheats than me.