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Please move on. But may I add a big hug as we ALL have "dated" inappropriate men in the past which is why you are warned by those who have been there.
So what you're saying is he lies to every single other person in his life, his wife, friends, other gay dudes he has had sex with, kids, all that jazz, but that he's gonna be honest with you? Dude sounds like a practiced liar, so don't be surprise if the lies come your way next.
I'd be wary to get more involved before you become another mistress with the "he's gonna leave his wife for me soon, and the timing just hasn't been right yet" mantra. Easy call: break up and tell him you're ready to build a relationship if he ends it with his wife.
Otherwise you've exchanged one closet for another, and that's not good. Well, if you are hoping he'll marry you eventually, you might be betting long odds. There's many factors that may complicate the outcome. He might be too afraid of the fallout of divorce, for example, and just give you up. Or after a while he might decide you were only a good starter boyfriend and strike out on his own once he's fully out.
This is pure speculation on my part though. However, I would say that relationships don't have to be forever and still be completely worth it.
???????????? Hey there! I'm (24M) dating (26M) a guy for almost four years. I gotta admit that it's been a good relationship, we fit together and we enjoy each other's company, the issue is his decision to stay in the closet. We live in a southern town, 12 hours away from our families. One of my worst mistakes was dating a closeted guy. He was my first and only boyfriend. It was nice in private, and he was open with his friends, but outside of his dorm room we pretended to just be good friends. Hot mess looking back. Didn't even want to hold hands. Have you dated a closeted gay guy or been a closeted guy in a relationship, how did that go? I've been dating a guy for about eight months now and it's been good, we fit together, the sex is great and we enjoy each others company, the issue is his decision to stay in the closet.
If you want to love and comfort someone for a while that happens to be going through a protracted coming-out process, I don't see why you shouldn't. If you make each other happy right now, I'd say you should continue dating and see how you can ride out any further developments.
Dating a closeted guy reddit
As long as you're being decent to each other, it is ok to enjoy what you have today. There is only one outcome and that is pain for you. Please be very realistic about it and stay away from rescue fantasies. The sooner you leave this situation the better off you will be. So I've recently had a very similar experience. I'm a 32 year old gay guy that got involved with a married 29 year old guy. We met up a few times and we seemed to have the makings of a really good connection.
We both liked each other a lot. We were never a couple or anything like that, but it couldve happened easily. We messaged a lot, flirted a lot and had great chemistry.
REDDIT GAY, Denial to finding love, goodbye from straight pals
He progressively got consumed with guilt and the cheating which is of course ba but he's obviously not fullfilled in his current situation and has cheated on her at least 4 times that I know of in a period of only 9 months or so.
I tried my best to get him to open upto me as he was so guarded, but i think he just found it easier to ignore me and avoid dealing with things. The final straw was just a few days ago I work abroad and wanted us to meet to say goodbye as mates.
Apr 20, They do nothing at all. If by closeted you mean gay men who are not out, I have known quite a few, and they do nothing aside from simply not stating that they are gay. Well, the one thing they will often do is have a girlfriend. I have no idea how. When it comes to your wants and needs, I agree with Poke - you have to decide if life with a closeted bi guy works for you. But, for him - he clearly thinks coming out will cause him pain. Knowing that you love him, I would think you'd want to do as little as possible to cause him pain - even if you think (or even know) it would be for his. Sep 14, No matter what your sexual orientation is, dating can be complicated! There's so much stuff to learn: like your new love interest's favorite food, music and artists. But if you or the person/people you're dating are in the closet-meaning, not open about your sexual orientation or gender identity, for whatever reason-things can get even trickier. We recognize.
I wont be back in the UK for a few months, but he ignored that too. It was then that I realised that I deserve better. I blocked his number and dont intend on talking to him again. I know its not what you want to hear.
I don't want to be overly pragmatic, but there are very practical concerns to consider beyond the real big one of his marriage. At 60, he's going to go through significant changes to his body and health.
Advise dating a closeted guy reddit idea
He's also going to hit the average life expectancy in 15 years. First most, you have to figure out if you'll be able to be honoring to him and stay interested in home as he enters this next life stage. Also, are you going to be there to assist him if he has a drastic change in health.
The best online dating sites for closet bros? I'm currently a closeted young guy and don't want anyone finding out about my sexuality, but I do want to meet other gay guys and like chill, hangout, date, whatever. Aug 24, At the most, you will have to plan for being on your own in years. When you're 45+, your dating option are going to be very different. Dating with that age difference isn't bad, but you have to figure out all this now to ensure . May 14, Closeted men can make great boyfriends because they oftentimes have a newfound excitement and enthusiasm about love, being so new to gay culture. They are less jaded by gay dating due to their lack of experience and exposure, and they can be good with boundaries and pacing a relationship to allow it to form organically.
Leaving him alone in that era after he's already come out and severed his marriage would be very tragic. Also, you may be alone yourself if you lose him in fifteen years. At the most, you will have to plan for being on your own in years. Dating with that age difference isn't bad, but you have to figure out all this now to ensure you're able to honor the relationship through the long haul. Just a few more months and I'll be free Being in the closet to parents is a different thing than being in the closet to everyone else.
I was in a relationship with a guy who was so closeted anyone that saw us in public had to have the impression that we were just friends. But I was young and stupid and in love, so I played along with it. I was the closet case in my first "relationship" and from my experience, I'd never date a closeted man.
Remarkable, dating a closeted guy reddit phrase
I felt ashamed every time I'd meet up with my ex and he tried being even the slightest intimate with me in public. I didn't want to meet his friends, and when he forced me to, I clammed right up because I was so uncomfortable with having anyone else know I am gay.
There were months where I'd be so ashamed, I wouldn't contact him for the entire month. It was a horrible experience for the both of us, and I feel guilty I put him through that. Dating a closeted man is one of the most painful and damaging things you can do for your self esteem.
We have all done it and learned the hard way. I have never seen one of this stories end up good, no matter the circumstances. You are already experiencing the beginning of it.
It is very frustrating but there is not much you can do.
If you push him to get out of the closet he will resent you to say the least. Details and age dont matter much, the bottom line is a closeted guy is not relationship material. It depends how old he is.
If he's 19 too, then be patient. If he's 25, not so much. Dating a guy in the closet is death by a thousand paper cuts. You can endure it for awhile, but eventually you'll be drained. So only do it if you really believe it's temporary.
Being in the closet has become pretty much a deal breaker for me since my relationship with someone in the closet.
Yet did dating a closeted guy reddit topic
I kinda felt like some dirty secret all throughout it and looking back it should've been one of those things where I should've looked out for myself first, instead of not hurting his feelings. When I first began dating my current boyfriend, he was way deep in the closet. Three years later, he and I are still madly in love and he is out to everybody. Once you reach your mid to late 20's you want a partner who you can take on vacations to Maui, as your date to firm retreats, company parties, weddings, and a gazillion other social functions.
That isn't possible if he's still in the closet. After the first closeted guy I dated, I decided not to date more closeted guys. Full of drama and it's somehow frustrating on your part to do so much intimacy to him but he couldn't appreciate it because narnia is more comfy. Still pretty much closeted.
All my relationships have been with out guys though- Or girls Bibro. Call me a coward if you like, but Im just not able to face life alone like that. So I keep up the facade. When I date out guys, its usually not the biggest deal, I just spend a lot of time with their friends and such. Currently talking to a dude who is even more in the closet than I am.
I dated recently got back together,refer to my older posts my boyfriend who started off as a closeted bisexual "friend". We were in the same group of friends,I was openly gay he was a closet bi.
He came from a Bosnian family which traditionally isn't the most pro-gay culture out there.
His family was surprisingly accepting and so was our friends. After that he would initiate public PDA and insist on holding my hand in public and randomly say "I love you". On the other side of all of this. I was the closeted one in the relationship I'm currently in.
He isn't hiding you becuase your lesser or he is ashamed.
Opinion dating a closeted guy reddit Seldom.. possible tell
It's to protect himself. If you love him and are willing to learn deal with issues that are going to come up stay with him. If this is too overwhelming or this is unacceptable don't. If your willing to stay this could be an amazing relationship that you have. Either way it's up to you to decide that. I do recommend speaking with him about this as you may need clarity on his side of this. Being bi unfortunately does bring with it it's own set of problems.
When it comes to your wants and needs, I agree with Poke - you have to decide if life with a closeted bi guy works for you. But, for him - he clearly thinks coming out will cause him pain. I think if you really think that being out is what's best for him, then you can assure him that the people he loves will support him.
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