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Message Read Status. When we talk about dominance and submission in BDSM, we're talking about consensual power exchange: That means that even if a submissive partner is tied up and allowing the dominant partner to dictate what happens in a scene, the terms have been discussed and agreed upon by all partners beforehand.

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In fact, the sub can even be thought of as the one in control, since it's the dominant partner's responsibility to always respect their limits. Before trying anything new, talk it over with your partner to make sure you're both into whatever's about to go down. You may be interested in choosing a safe word that stops play if needed.

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Learning your turn-ons and boundaries and your partner's is all part of the fun of BDSM, and discussing your encounter before it happens can be its own anticipation-building form of foreplay.

Are you a submissive who likes being reprimanded? Do you want to be told that you're a bad girl and that you're going to do what daddy wants?

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Ask your partner to talk dirty to you. Anyone can engage in dirty talk related to BDSM themes, whether you are dominant, submissive, or both someone who plays both roles is referred to as a switch. Dirty talk allows you to express your desires.

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Verbal cues also help you visualize hot fantasies. Say you have a fantasy of being restrained but for now just want to hear your partner tell you about how they're going to tie you up and consensually use you, or you'd like to see how it feels to call them "sir. Adding sensory deprivation to your sex life is an easy and tantalizing way to build tension.

When you temporarily subtract stimuli from one sense, you can heighten others: For instance, when you can't see because you're wearing a blindfold, a whisper in your ear or the taste of your partner's mouth may seem all the more intense - and exciting.

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You can also use a sleeping mask or the silk tie of a bathrobe. Depending on what role you want to play, ask your partner to blindfold you or ask if you can blindfold them. Once the blindfold is on, the partner not wearing it can tease and tantalize the wearer, leaving them guessing what's coming next by kissing all over their body, whispering dirty talk into their ear, or tickling erogenous zones with a feather.

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Orgasm control, especially when done to a person with a penis, is usually referred to as "edging. If you're new to orgasm control, you probably already know that delayed gratification can make the end reward that much sweeter.

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You don't have to have any sort of rigid edging routine to explore orgasm control: If you're the submissive partner, simply relax and give your dominant partner permission to take your orgasm into their hands. Have them use their mouth or a sex toy to bring you close to climax, stopping right beforehand.

When you can't wait any longer, let them help you cross the finish line and prepare for the most intense orgasm you've had in a while.

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Candles are useful for more than just creating mood lighting. They can also be used for temperature play, or using hot and cold to provoke arousal during sexual play. This technique can feature in both vanilla and BDSM encounters.

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In the case of candles, you can have a partner drizzle hot wax on your body, but don't just use candles you picked up from the grocery store: The wax from those can be a little too hot. Companies such as Jimmyjane make massage candles designed for sex, in erotic scents such as bourbon and ginger and date.

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