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Last ated: June 1, References Approved. This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta. With over 18 years of date coaching experience, Laura specializes in dating etiquette, relationships, and human behavior. This article has 23 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 1, times. Getting over a crush on a best friend can take time.

Rebuilding a friendship can take weeks or months. You may not feel "over" your crush until you find someone new. Take as much time as you need to process your emotions. Let your friend know why you need space so that they don't feel hurt or confused.

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Let them know that it isn't their fault and that you still care about them. Set boundaries. If you want to fall out of love with your crush, set boundaries for yourself and your friend to avoid sparking old flames. You might avoid extended physical contact with your friend, stop flirting with them, or steer away from intimate conversations for a while.

Share the boundaries with your friend if you're comfortable so they know to avoid those situations. On the flip side, you may have to hold yourself back from hugging or holding them. Let them know why you are doing this so they don't feel hurt or abandoned. Method 3 of Allow yourself to feel without restrictions.

What if your best friend is dating your crush

Don't bottle up your emotions. Trying to repress feelings often leads to more pain. Rather than ignoring the pain, open yourself up to the full spectrum of emotions. Grieve for what could have been. Express gratitude that this friend has been in your life. Think of the good and bad times. Whatever emotions come, accept them.

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Relax, recharge, and revisit the situation when you're ready. Getting your feelings out can keep you from dwelling on the situation.

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Third parties can also give you an outside perspective. Sometimes a good cry can be cathartic.

And your crush picking her doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. However, this jealousy and desire to seek revenge is a problem. I know you're probably feeling somewhat betrayed because she is your friend and she knew that you liked this Ask Olivia.

If you need to cry, find somewhere you're comfortable and let it out. Practice self-care. In the midst of these strong feelings for your friend, you may neglect taking care of yourself.

My Crush Is in Love with My Best Friend

But practicing self-care in this time will help you regain confidence and maintain supportive relationships as you process your emotions. Do activities that strengthen your physical and emotional well-being, and take care of your personal hygiene. Let yourself laugh.

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Humor really can be the best medicine. Comic relief can help you de-stress and keep a light perspective in life. Watch a silly movie, read humorous novels, or visit a local comedy club.

At the very least, laughter can distract you when you need time away from your thoughts. Make sure that you're not using jokes to repress painful feelings. Express your feelings creatively.

Getting your feelings out whether in words, art, or song will help you collect your thoughts and process all the emotions you might be feeling. You can share your work with others, or you can just keep it for yourself. The important part is expressing yourself fully. Seeing your emotions on paper will help you work through them. Regain your confidence.

While getting over a crush on your friend, your self-esteem may plummet.

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You may worry that nobody will ever love you like you wish your friend did. Believing in yourself again can help you cope with the pain and cultivate hope in the future. Write down your strengths on a piece of paper to remember when you're feeling low, and set reachable goals every day to remind yourself that you can do hard things. If you think you may be depressed, tell a loved one or see a counselor. Method 4 of Before you get back into the dating scene, spend some time on self-understanding.

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Get to know yourself on a deeper level: think about your goals in life and what's important to you. Explore your strengths and weaknesses as a human being. Knowing yourself better will help you define what you're seeking in a relationship. Re-discover who you are apart from your friend and learn to love yourself.

Sep 25,   I understand this question, unfortunately. I'm in a similar position right now, I'm madly in love with my best friend's crush. My story aside, I think you should really rethink your relationship with the friend. If you already informed her/him abo. Jan 25,   For all you singles out there with a crush on your friend, step off the on-deck circle and get ready to go to bat and hit a home run. You may strike out, but if it is true love you are after, go. Apr 24,   On the flip side, if you're the friend that started dating your pal's love interest, you might want to brush up on your apology skills. Above all, whichever side of this you're on, know that your Author: De Elizabeth.

Use the old relationship as a guide to figure out what qualities you like about yourself, and where you would like to grow. Take up a new hobby. Getting out and learning something new will give you something else to think about besides your friend. You'll also be able to learn new skills and regain some self-confidence.

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Join a cooking class, volunteer at a local shelter, buy an instrument to learn, or try out an activity you've always wanted to do.

Pick a hobby that requires a lot of time and concentration. You can then use it to escape your mind for a while and focus on something productive.

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Now is the time to revisit an activity you used to do but for whatever reason let go. Doing something you love again will help you reconnect with your inner self.

Spend time with your other friends. Having a crush on your best friend can cause you to neglect other friendships. As you develop meaningful relationships with other friends, you'll gain emotional support outside of your best friend. Invite a friend over to chat, see a movie with them, or even send them a text to let them know you care. Don't distract yourself constantly with friends. Spending time alone is important, too.

If you need some space from others for a while, let yourself have that time. Go out with other people, when you're ready.

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Once you're ready to fall in love again, re-enter the dating scene. You don't have to fall into a serious relationship right away: date a few different people for a while and have fun just getting to know them.

Join a club, volunteer somewhere new, chat with a classmate or co-worker, or visit your local bar. Understand that you won't find someone exactly like your friend, however. Realize that your friend may not have been the one, and believe that eventually you will meet the right person and realize why things didn't work out with your best friend.

Accept that falling out of love takes time. Getting over a crush takes time as your heart heals. In a way, you might always love and care for this person.

What matters is moving past the pain and opening yourself up to loving again, even if not for a while. Don't beat yourself up if you're still pining for this person.

You can find new love in the future. If you're not careful, you may become bitter from the pain and start to hate your friend. Don't let yourself fill with negative emotions.

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I've been trying for years to get over my best friend. All these feelings are weighing me down with guilt, but if I tell her I'm afraid it'll be awkward and I'll lose her. What do I do? Paul Chernyak, LPC. Having courage and being vulnerable is important, especially in relationships.

You may find that being open not only helps get rid of your guilt but may make the relationship stronger as well. If it does not work out, then at least you won't feel guilty anymore and won't spend your time on someone who does not feel the same way about you. Not Helpful 12 Helpful I might be moving away from my best friend who is also my crush we speak every day. How do I get over him? Make sure to clearly tell him your concerns and feelings.

He may still want to have you as a friend in his life. Technology has made connecting over long distances easier. Not Helpful 9 Helpful Nothing is wrong about loving your best friend. Regardless of whether the relationship is best or meant to be, feelings are neither good nor bad. They just are. Not Helpful 13 Helpful How long does this usually take?

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I have the exact same condition. While one fight or betrayal isn't necessarily grounds for a friend breakup, it is important to make sure you're surrounding yourself with healthy relationships. If your so-called bestie routinely makes you feel bad or does things that hurt you, it might be time to end the relationship. In that case, head here to learn how to handle the end of a friendship.

On the flip side, if you're the friend that started dating your pal's love interest, you might want to brush up on your apology skills.

Above all, whichever side of this you're on, know that your feelings are valid, and that you will move on - whether it's from your crush or your friend. Give yourself permission to walk away from the situation for a little while.

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Keywords best friends relationships crushes advice. For all you singles out there with a crush on your friend, step off the on-deck circle and get ready to go to bat and hit a home run. By Jarone Ashkenazi.

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So, what should you do? We've been brainwashed by rom-coms that falling for your best friend is the sign of true love. He or she is the one who has always been there through breakups, triumphs and hardships.

Or, it could destroy your friendship. Barbie Adler, founder and president of Selective Searchadvises, Before you tell your BFF you have feelings for him or her, take the time to figure out where those feelings are coming from.

Gauge the chemistry you both share before adding this unnecessary pressure on the friendship. Melani Robinsona dating expert and award-winning blogger, explains that Harry and Sally become friends and have a fling, and then the friendship is over: But that's a risk when approaching your best friend. You must be prepared to have the friendship change, or lose it completely once you've put it out there.

It's risky, for sure, but a huge payoff if it works.

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3 Replies to “What if your best friend is dating your crush”

  1. It is a pity, that now I can not express - it is very occupied. I will be released - I will necessarily express the opinion on this question.

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